“There is a theory that if anyone discovers exactly why the Universe is here, it will instantly be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. Another theory states this has already happened.” - Douglas Adams

What follows are three, deeply exaggerated, jokes the Universe played on software developers.

The collaborative function

What department comes to mind when you think about collaboration? Sales? Marketing? HR?

How about Tech?

Seriously. Sales vs Software Engineering?

Sales: Flashy onboarding events overflowing with enthusiasm. Maybe a pencil or three sold along the way. And then… Individual performance targets, assigned leads or territories, private conversations with prospects. And a monthly sync or two.

Engineering: Awkward smiles over coffee machine. Complaining about the interruptions and constant context switching. Debates about working from home or going to the office. Introverts comparing energy drains.

Also: Daily standups, three different team meetings, project kickoffs, architectural reviews, requirement alignments, and code reviews. So - many - code - reviews.

The analytical ambiguity

Two marketers talk over matcha lattes, a vibrant, dazzling explosion of imprecise vibes.

Of course software dev.. engineering! is nothing like that. Engineering is analytical. Precise! Ok, there’s always that one blasphemous weirdo who thinks of software as an Art. But alas, it’s all about optimizations, algorithms, and computer science. Science! And Engineering. It’s right there in the name!

And measurable KPIs? Measurable… Well, maybe?

But don’t you try to measure engineering productivity. No lines of code, no LoC removed, and for the love of all that we hold dear, no story points.

At least we can always agree on what is the best solution to any given problem. Like in architectural discussions.

The supposedly precise discipline where nothing can be quantified.

Engineer, the business specialist

I’m walking to get my coffee - just an espresso, thank you very much - and it’s hard not to overhear those two BizDevs talking about how detached engineers are from the business. Just terrible, engineers never seem to care about business! No expertise nor interest. Just doing engineering for engineering’s sake!

Except tech debt is a business continuity concern?

And of course developers don’t know how business processes work. Except they build the workflows that execute them? To the level of detail that stops with individual 0s or 1s? Hm.

And so the humble engineer turns out to be the ultimate business specialist.

Here comes AI

I can hear you already, muttering to please stop. But one for the road.

So there is this DevAI thing. And it’s very useful in software development. We just need to figure out how to embed it into our organisations.

And it.. removes the coding part, so that developers can do more talking with customers or debating architecture? And despite trillions of dollars, we still can’t measure the value it creates? While engineers are competing to unlock business value faster?

Turns out that blasphemous weirdo was right all along.
“Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life.”


Enjoyed this post? I’d love to send you more like it. Join the newsletter: